How to protect the special moments in your life from sticky beaks
The most awesome events of our life – changing careers, getting married, or having a long-awaited baby – attract wider interest, but with that interest comes a kind of pressure that may diminish our joy. Throughout our life we feel obliged to share our personal moments with outsiders.
Why do brides often feel so anxious, stressed and close to breakdown when preparing for one of the most beautiful days in their lives? Why does the miracle of IVF make proud parents feel like they are under constant interrogation? Even celebrating a new job can lead to prying questions about confidential matters, and increase feelings of stress.
Intrusions on our privacy can be difficult to manage. It can be even harder to bear when you and your partner have different standards on how you share and how much you share.
You might like to reduce this stress in your life by using some of the following suggestions:
- Revisit your boundaries with your partner. Discuss with your partner how much and exactly what you would like to share with the world, especially when the issue concerns both of you, like marriage or fertility issues, but also your partner’s health or career issues.
- Sharing strategies, especially for social media. Choose who you will share news with and what details. Take some time out to think about who else is impacted. Consider how your partner or other people who are involved in the story would feel about sharing. If you prefer a low profile and don’t want share everything via social media, it is fine. A good rule of thumb is: if you doubt that you sharing something very personal will thrill your partner, then don’t do it. Talk it over.
- Communicate your boundaries. It is easier to manage what is happening around you if you know what you want. If someone at work asks you something personal, like “How is your IVF treatment going?”, you don’t have to talk about it then and there. You don’t have to talk about it at all. People will get the idea very quickly if you like to spend hours talking about a particular topic or prefer not to discuss it in detail.
- Be firm. Simply because people ask you questions it does not mean that you have to answer them. If it is not ‘you’ then you don’t need to share it. If you want their opinion, ask for it. If you don’t, thank them and redirect the conversation to another topic.
- Prioritise your needs. It is your big moment so, take steps to de-stress and engage in self-care – look after your soul and your body. It is also your right to change your mind about what you share. From time to time revisit your plan and ensure that you still happy with everything.
Image: Flickr.com
License: Creative Commons Copyright
All rights reserved by Helga Weber
Recent Comments